First things first, this is meant to be a light-hearted post. It is not meant to offend anyone in any way. Please take it with a pinch of salt and let us laugh at ourselves as we discover what type of natural we are.
The product junkie is often a natural who owns at least 6 conditioners from different brands, 10 moisturizers and a dozen butters and creams. This one buys every product that her favourite YouTube hair guru recommends. And have you seen the Shea butters and oils in their stash? An oil merchant would be jealous…I bet you just realized you might be a product junkie, didn’t you? It’s ok! We’re not judging.
This is a seasoned natural whose hair is longer than half the population. She has her hair regimen down to a tee and can write a whole book natural hair. There is nothing this natural has not experienced. From severe hair loss to broken combs and heat damage. But you know what? They have bounced back like a champ. So now they have hair that goes all the way down their back… and you and I don’t. But give it time. We will catch up!
Still waiting for a scientist somewhere to invent self-washing hair. They don’t like all the fuss the comes with natural hair…Or fuss that comes with anything really. Lazy naturals are often a one-show pony. This means they usually have that one go-to style that they don’t change because of the work that comes with trying new things. I speak for myself when I say I detest wash day and styling my hair every day. I style my hair once a week and that’s it! I’m starting my own organization for lazy naturals. You are welcome to join. Just kidding. Being a lazy natural means low-maintenance styling, which in turn could mean a lot of protective styling like braids.
This is most natural hair gurus on YouTube. How are they perfect? Well, all their hairstyles come out perfect. Like twist-outs, braid-outs, perm rod sets or flexi rod sets. This one can slay and lay their hair with their eyes closed. Meanwhile, their subscriber tries to do the same exact hairstyle for 4 hours and their hair came out looking like they’ve been doing exactly nothing. Also, those naturalistas you see walking down the street with perfect curls and you just want to stop them and tell them ‘’Teach me your ways Sensei.’’
Having natural hair can be a bit taxing and not everyone likes to deal with the work, knots, pain and shrinkage. Sometimes keeping your hands up,trying to braid is a workout in itself. That’s why we have some naturals who always wear their hair straight. This means they straighten their hair using heat tools which sometimes results in heat damage and hair thinning. Oops.
There are a ton of rules to follow in the natural hair world. Like how you should not use Petrolatum or Sulfate on your hair. Ever heard the one about not using heat on your hair often? To this natural, rules are rules. I do use the occasional sulfate shampoo and petrolatum. But you will not see these naturals using shampoo as they prefer to co-wash. They will look you up and down at you should they see a strand of colour on your hair, because colour is drying.
You know the interesting thing? Is that you’re probably one or all of these types of naturals!
Need some more natural hair inspo? Check out 5 Natural Hair Influencers To Check Out On Instagram.
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Authored By Winnie The Fashionista